What Do You Mean I Can't Have Coffee! (How I Finally Kicked The Habit)

Prior to my Sassy Mormon days, I  was an avid coffee drinker. I loved everything about it and as a college student it was the only thing that got me through my crazy journalism degree programme.

At my worst i was managing to chug at least four before noon and at 4 dollars a cup I was normally chucking out 20 dollars a day on staying awake. (I was in college don't judge me!!)

In the bad days, I used coffee as a crutch to stay awake. Group projects meant getting the least amount of sleep possible since all the work seemed to magically fall on my shoulders. Coffee became my friend, my pillow and my safe place.

I loved coffee.... 

Everyday I became excited to stand by the machine with my coffee cup and chug my life away for a few seconds of liquid bliss.

It went on that way until I dropped out of college and started detoxing from my four cups a day habit. I held out hope for the odd movie evenings where i could treat myself to my favorite drink which was so tainted with coffee that I would have problems sleeping for at least half the week.

After I started doing my research about the church, the hardest bit of news to swallow seemed to be the opposition to drinking coffee. I could give up tea in a heartbeat (I was probably a disgrace to my half British/Nigerian mother who was an avid tea lover) but coffee remained a sore spot of contention. In an act of defiance I was back on the coffee kick. I started making my coffee at home and even though it tasted like crap I craved the rebellion that only a cup of coffee could bring.

In my head I thought I could be a Mormon in every single way even with my addiction to this substance that I seemed to control my every waking thought. I managed to limit my coffee drinking to one day a month when I would go to the mall with my mom. Still this didn't help the guilt I felt as I took the sacrament, vowing to change when just the aroma of coffee could send me into a binge.

Even after baptism, there were a few times I slipped up and went straight back to the coffee store for my favorite drink. It didn't taste the same. I remember the spirit leaving me more each time I would drink coffee or even consider drinking it and it was a feeling I absolutely hated. During that time of major temptation I remember going back to my tracts and coming to terms with my behavior and truly coming to realize that I wasn't living up to the standards Heavenly Father wanted for me.

Temptation doesn't feel awful at first. We can lie to ourselves that defiance doesn't feel good in the moment until reality hits us and reminds us that our actions aren't okay. For the second time, I went into withdrawal. I looked a mess, I snapped at everyone who dared call me during the early morning hours but I knew I needed to make a change not only for my physical health but for my spiritual health as well.

Was I happy about giving up cofee
 at first....No
But did it need to be done...Heck Yea

 Getting over an addiction isn't easy. Temptation tends to hit us ten times harder the more we struggle with our bad habits and are trying to overcome them. Here I was, going into my favorite coffee shop and asking the people who worked there if I could just stand and smell the coffee beans being pulverized to make someone's drink. I was the weirdo death-staring at people who would buy my favorite coffee drink (because I was hella jealous of them).

Still, I'm grateful for struggling. I am grateful for overcoming an addiction I thought I would never shake. I am greatful for the Word Of Wisdom which now keeps me on the right path and helps me know I can overcome anything with Heavenly Father's help.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ

Amen.