For Anna Jo
A lot about being a new convert is making sure your sister missionaries are doing okay. Mission work is hard and I know the girls are missing the comforts of home especially when they see parents with their children at church and get trunky (as my missionaries call it) and they can't hear their parents voice to tell them how much they mean to them.
A few weeks ago, one of my sassy missionaries who had just been transferred to Grenada to serve with my little sister Anna Jo, let me on to the fact that despite her hard work, Anna was struggling with anxiety and panic attacks.
As someone who has endured numerous panic attacks since last October (pre baptism) it was hard to hear that someone I cared and loved so deeply was suffering with something so debilitating especially on a mission.
That being said I will share the letter I wrote to Anna Banana(since she's due back in Barbados for a few days starting tomorrow).
Dear Anna Jo,
Hi girl, how are you doing? I hope this letter finds you in good health and somewhat normalish frame of mind.
Now its become a habit for me to send you letters in the time we've known each other and in total Momo fashion, this isn't going to change (anytime soon).
This (letter) is a little different though. This letter is sealed with all of Momo's strength and courage for you to endure throughout the rest of your mission.
Speaking of endure, I remember rolling my eyes whenever you would tell me to endure my hard days. In that moment it was so hard to pull myself out of that frame of mind and truly grasp what you were trying to say. (I totally get it now. It took a while)
I remember that conversation we had vividly when you told me you were struggling with anxiety. In that moment I stopped breathing (or rather my heart felt like it had stopped) and I started to cry for a little sister I couldn't reach out to, hug or protect. Feeling out of control and missing you like crazy, I called the only people who would understand and vented to them while i cried (Sister Knapp and Sister Unga your former Grenada companion)
For a minute, I wanted to take that anxiety upon myself and carry your cross so that you wouldn't have to. Then I remembered that we needed to thank anxiety for a lot of things. Without anxiety, I would have never met the missionaries, carried my Book of Mormon on my cruise holiday and touch it in the midst of my first panic attack, made the decision to be baptized and drowned for a minute (HAHA) or stood alone long before my mom took an interest in the church.
Anxiety despite its dark storm cloud prepares us for the unknown that we can't yet see. Its a broken compass in need of faith to make it work effectively. But ANXIETY ISN'T YOU... IT CAN'T CONTROL YOU ANNA JO !
Jeffrey R Holland says ' Keep trying. Keep trusting. Keep believing. Heaven is cheering you on today, tomorrow and forever.' How awesome is that? Your work here in the Caribbean will pay off. Your diligence to serve will pay off. Your love for those you teach will pay off.
President Gordon B. Hinkley once said 'It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us'. Do you get that? He sure as hell won't forsake you.
The mission life may not always be smooth sailing or great weather. There may be obstacles in your way and multiple potholes to slow your progress but Heavenly Father has it all handled. He's got you!
I'll leave you with a quote from Jeffrey Holland which I changed just for you
Have hope (Rejoice in the happy days and pray through the bad ones)
Take heart (Bad days make you so much stronger)
Be good (Heavenly Father loves you dearly as do I)
You are wonderful to us (Especially to me)
Sending you my love always
Love Ramona, Paula and Muffin the demon dog
Its funny how an umbrella set my life in motion. For the time they are with us, I am glad to play missionary to the missionaries. I gladly become surrogate best friend, older sister, therapist and most importantly refuge during their hardest days.
I really hope she likes my letter.
Love The Sassy Mormon
A few weeks ago, one of my sassy missionaries who had just been transferred to Grenada to serve with my little sister Anna Jo, let me on to the fact that despite her hard work, Anna was struggling with anxiety and panic attacks.
As someone who has endured numerous panic attacks since last October (pre baptism) it was hard to hear that someone I cared and loved so deeply was suffering with something so debilitating especially on a mission.
That being said I will share the letter I wrote to Anna Banana(since she's due back in Barbados for a few days starting tomorrow).
Dear Anna Jo,
Hi girl, how are you doing? I hope this letter finds you in good health and somewhat normalish frame of mind.
Now its become a habit for me to send you letters in the time we've known each other and in total Momo fashion, this isn't going to change (anytime soon).
This (letter) is a little different though. This letter is sealed with all of Momo's strength and courage for you to endure throughout the rest of your mission.
Speaking of endure, I remember rolling my eyes whenever you would tell me to endure my hard days. In that moment it was so hard to pull myself out of that frame of mind and truly grasp what you were trying to say. (I totally get it now. It took a while)
I remember that conversation we had vividly when you told me you were struggling with anxiety. In that moment I stopped breathing (or rather my heart felt like it had stopped) and I started to cry for a little sister I couldn't reach out to, hug or protect. Feeling out of control and missing you like crazy, I called the only people who would understand and vented to them while i cried (Sister Knapp and Sister Unga your former Grenada companion)
For a minute, I wanted to take that anxiety upon myself and carry your cross so that you wouldn't have to. Then I remembered that we needed to thank anxiety for a lot of things. Without anxiety, I would have never met the missionaries, carried my Book of Mormon on my cruise holiday and touch it in the midst of my first panic attack, made the decision to be baptized and drowned for a minute (HAHA) or stood alone long before my mom took an interest in the church.
Anxiety despite its dark storm cloud prepares us for the unknown that we can't yet see. Its a broken compass in need of faith to make it work effectively. But ANXIETY ISN'T YOU... IT CAN'T CONTROL YOU ANNA JO !
Jeffrey R Holland says ' Keep trying. Keep trusting. Keep believing. Heaven is cheering you on today, tomorrow and forever.' How awesome is that? Your work here in the Caribbean will pay off. Your diligence to serve will pay off. Your love for those you teach will pay off.
President Gordon B. Hinkley once said 'It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. If you do your best, it will all work out. Put your trust in God and move forward with faith and confidence in the future. The Lord will not forsake us'. Do you get that? He sure as hell won't forsake you.
The mission life may not always be smooth sailing or great weather. There may be obstacles in your way and multiple potholes to slow your progress but Heavenly Father has it all handled. He's got you!
I'll leave you with a quote from Jeffrey Holland which I changed just for you
Have hope (Rejoice in the happy days and pray through the bad ones)
Take heart (Bad days make you so much stronger)
Be good (Heavenly Father loves you dearly as do I)
You are wonderful to us (Especially to me)
Sending you my love always
Love Ramona, Paula and Muffin the demon dog
Its funny how an umbrella set my life in motion. For the time they are with us, I am glad to play missionary to the missionaries. I gladly become surrogate best friend, older sister, therapist and most importantly refuge during their hardest days.
I really hope she likes my letter.
Love The Sassy Mormon
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