Forgiveness Is Key.

Once upon a time, I had a really had time at church and I thought about leaving. I was sad. My feelings were hurt and I desperately wanted to find a way out or to suddenly be unbaptized.

Anger boiled over. Tempers flared and the only thing keeping me in the church were the missionaries who tried their darnest to save a slipping soul whose feet seemed pointed to the nearest exit at our church.

Those weeks were hard. I wanted to run. I wanted to flee. Nobody understood why I suddenly turned quiet or slipped into my corners at the church and refused to engage. My heart seemed stuck on a station called 'Hurt Convert' which I will admit is one of the darkest places I have ever been in.

Hurt often leads people to walk away or sometimes run away from the church. Even the strongest testimony and the most avid Book of Mormon reader fleed in the midst of confrontations and contention. And even though I am not proud to admit it, I was almost one of them.

Where does hurt get us? I asked myself this question for the two weeks I stayed away from church as I contemplated whether I would be returning or not. Where was hurt getting me as I tried to remember why I was there and why I had allowed Elder Tye (Hi Elder Tye) to drown me for half a second. (Just kidding. More like three times)

Hurt was making me doubt. It made me doubt Heavenly Father's love and his ability to soften the hearts of the persons who I encountered. Why were they so mean? Why did they claim to love a Heavenly Father in heaven but hurt people so much with sharp tongues?

It was only when one of my favorite sisters who has taught me took me aside one lesson and expressed to me that while the church was perfect, people were not. Somehow I had expected that everything about the church was touched by Midas himself. While the feelings of the Spirit had all but zapped me with the juju only Heavenly Father could bring, I couldn't expect perfection in imperfect people.

In my furriest of hearts, I was doing so well. My new convertness shone. I was solid. I shouldn't have to deal with problems so early. Turns out it doesn't work that way. Hurt sometimes doesn't come at us and say 'Look I'm here so you can crumble so its easier to run' neither does it make an appointment and say 'Look I'm going to come at 12pm during Gospel Principles' so you can just prepare for me to show up so you can tuck your emotions away.

Hurt can either make us grow or slump into the darkness. We can embrace it, learn to forgive each other and grow in our testimony and grow past it. It's a double ended sword. We either allow it to hurt us or we deflect the blow and become even stronger, learn to forgive those who have wronged us and draw closer to our Heavenly Father.

I'll share with you this awesome quote I found by Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf which says:

'We are not perfect. The people around us aren't perfect. People do things that annoy, disappoint and anger... Part of the purpose of morality is to learn to let go of such things. That is the Lord's Way. Remember that heaven is filled with those who have this in common: They are forgiven. And they forgive'

 I leave you things in the name of Jesus Christ
Amen.