Tales From A Recent Convert Part 2-Having A Hard Time As A New Mormon
Being a recent convert is hard. Temptation comes at you tenfold when you are trying to live a life which will make Heavenly Father proud of you, coffee cravings keep you up at night and then something happens that makes you so scared to tell people you have become a Mormon that it dictates your ability to converse with people.
Here's how I lost my courage to tell people that I became a Mormon.
A few months ago (December to be exact) and less than two weeks after I had gotten baptized, the high that I was on got cut.
As a new convert, that high was everything. I loved my new church, my new family and my returned faith but it wasn't until that fateful December day that I realized that I would have more people be afraid and insult me for my choice to join a church they knew nothing about.
While Barbados is a Christian society, most of the population falls into four main sections. You are either Baptist, Anglican, Methodist or Catholic with all other churches somehow shrouded in mystery.
On this particular day, I was getting my hair done as I normally do every six weeks.
In the midst of the hair salon, I brought up my weekend plans which included the baptism of two of my favorite people at church Thelma and Fred and as fate would have it, the dominoes fell onto themselves.
Although I am a Christian/Mormon, growing up religion was never something that I talked about. Sure, I went to church, contributed to service where-ever I could and even was a part of Junior Choir and dance worship but talking about Jesus and my spiritual path in the open was where I drew the line.
Now here I am for the first time in my life having to do my version of I Am A Mormon in a salon in front of a group of women who believe that I am somehow brainwashed and that at any moment I will start beating folks with the Book Of Mormon if they don't convert.
And in my sassy mormon brain I come up with the first sentence that I could probably come up with.
"We don't sacrifice babies or dance around bonfires,"
Four pairs of eyes bore into my flesh as my Mormon-ness began to show. I had never felt so naked before as for the next few minutes I listened to them rattle on about what they assumed the church to be and made far-flung notions about the missionaries and asked questions even the Pope would be offended by.
As someone who is quite upfront about the anger issues which resulted from my alienation from churches on a whole, I knew I had to make a choice. I could explode or I could walk away and ask Heavenly father to soften the hearts of those who seemed to be mocking me.
At that moment Heavenly Father seemed so close, covering the nakedness I felt in that moment from those ladies who had ripped right down to my bones and whispered in my ear what I needed to do.
I needed to walk away.
I needed to show faith and love instead of anger and I most certainly needed to forgive
A few days ago when I was reading through Mosiah and reading of the plight of Abinadi, I realized something.
How easy would've it been for him if he had said in his moments of persecution that he was wrong and that he didn't believe. In speaking with my sister missionaries Sam and Anna I expressed my anger at how much I felt for him and felt anger towards those who wouldn't listen to his message.
In that moment where anger seemed like the better choice in that salon feeling exposed and ridiculed for what I believed in showed me that although we may go through hardships that Heavenly Father always sees us through.
A few days ago, a friend of mine told me how wonderful it was that I had gone back to church and that she and her husband had been praying about it for a long time as she felt that I had lost my way without spiritual counsel.
Outside of some of my closest friends, she was the first person to know that I was a Mormon and that I had converted to this faith of love, hope and eternal happiness. And in the minute when I told her and her father that night as she did my hair, her response showed me I didn't have to be afraid and that Heavenly Father would give me the courage to share the love I have for him with others and be a blessing to them in their own lives.
And that's what we do as Mormons.
The words and insults may scald our skin and expose us to our bones yet Heavenly Father is always there to pick us up and cover us in the blanket of his life and eternal purpose.
Isn't the thought of that great?
Here's how I lost my courage to tell people that I became a Mormon.
A few months ago (December to be exact) and less than two weeks after I had gotten baptized, the high that I was on got cut.
As a new convert, that high was everything. I loved my new church, my new family and my returned faith but it wasn't until that fateful December day that I realized that I would have more people be afraid and insult me for my choice to join a church they knew nothing about.
While Barbados is a Christian society, most of the population falls into four main sections. You are either Baptist, Anglican, Methodist or Catholic with all other churches somehow shrouded in mystery.
On this particular day, I was getting my hair done as I normally do every six weeks.
In the midst of the hair salon, I brought up my weekend plans which included the baptism of two of my favorite people at church Thelma and Fred and as fate would have it, the dominoes fell onto themselves.
Although I am a Christian/Mormon, growing up religion was never something that I talked about. Sure, I went to church, contributed to service where-ever I could and even was a part of Junior Choir and dance worship but talking about Jesus and my spiritual path in the open was where I drew the line.
Now here I am for the first time in my life having to do my version of I Am A Mormon in a salon in front of a group of women who believe that I am somehow brainwashed and that at any moment I will start beating folks with the Book Of Mormon if they don't convert.
And in my sassy mormon brain I come up with the first sentence that I could probably come up with.
"We don't sacrifice babies or dance around bonfires,"
Four pairs of eyes bore into my flesh as my Mormon-ness began to show. I had never felt so naked before as for the next few minutes I listened to them rattle on about what they assumed the church to be and made far-flung notions about the missionaries and asked questions even the Pope would be offended by.
As someone who is quite upfront about the anger issues which resulted from my alienation from churches on a whole, I knew I had to make a choice. I could explode or I could walk away and ask Heavenly father to soften the hearts of those who seemed to be mocking me.
At that moment Heavenly Father seemed so close, covering the nakedness I felt in that moment from those ladies who had ripped right down to my bones and whispered in my ear what I needed to do.
I needed to walk away.
I needed to show faith and love instead of anger and I most certainly needed to forgive
A few days ago when I was reading through Mosiah and reading of the plight of Abinadi, I realized something.
How easy would've it been for him if he had said in his moments of persecution that he was wrong and that he didn't believe. In speaking with my sister missionaries Sam and Anna I expressed my anger at how much I felt for him and felt anger towards those who wouldn't listen to his message.
In that moment where anger seemed like the better choice in that salon feeling exposed and ridiculed for what I believed in showed me that although we may go through hardships that Heavenly Father always sees us through.
A few days ago, a friend of mine told me how wonderful it was that I had gone back to church and that she and her husband had been praying about it for a long time as she felt that I had lost my way without spiritual counsel.
Outside of some of my closest friends, she was the first person to know that I was a Mormon and that I had converted to this faith of love, hope and eternal happiness. And in the minute when I told her and her father that night as she did my hair, her response showed me I didn't have to be afraid and that Heavenly Father would give me the courage to share the love I have for him with others and be a blessing to them in their own lives.
And that's what we do as Mormons.
The words and insults may scald our skin and expose us to our bones yet Heavenly Father is always there to pick us up and cover us in the blanket of his life and eternal purpose.
Isn't the thought of that great?
Love how you applied your experience to that of abinadi. I love your honesty and I LOVE the thought of heavenly father picking me up and covering me with a blanket of his love. That kind of comfort and peace can only be found in Him. Keep writing and keep the courage to be true to yourself and the truth you now have. I am so proud of you! You're such an inspiration!!!
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