I Didn't Know How Much She Loved Me

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I lost Anna this week.

Transfers finally came to Barbados and for the first time in the entire process I felt anxiety.

Sure, I have lost little sisters before. Sister Buhrley got transferred to Six Roads and ALMOST KILLED ME, Sister Koger got transferred to Enterprise and I found a way to survive and Sister Stewart ended her mission and returned to Oregon and almost broke me but in everything my Anna Banana always kept me grounded.
She always reminded me that it was okay to be goofy

There were the days of goofing off and being silly at church to the more serious moments in lessons where we addressed everything under the sun. For the six months she was here, she was my adoptive little sister and as much as she taught me, there were things I also let her know.

As someone who was never blessed with siblings, the missionaries can fast become additional family members. I tease the Elders and joke around with the sisters but Anna Banana always held a special place.

I know if she hadn't entered my life like a curly haired tornado that I probably would've never been baptized nor would I be attending service every Sunday.

A few months in and killing it
There were a lot of good memories we had but one that really sticks with me was a few weeks ago when I started to get depressed. Immediately Anna realized I wasn't myself during our phone call and rallied Sister Hawkins behind her and made their weekly visit to my house with a strawberry smoothie to make me feel better.

She and Sister Hawkins found a way to tear through the darkness and made me happy again. Anna is sunlight meant to bring joy to people's lives and although she now has to spread that love to another country I count my blessings for having her in my life.

With her last companion in Barbados Sister Hawkins
Looking back, if it hadn't been for her neither my mom or I would've EVER been baptized or would be coming to church as we have been for the past few months.

Her joy often times bubbled over and couldn't be contained but to me it was one of her best qualities. With everyone, she spoke with so much love and was genuinely a light to those in the Haggatt Hall area.

I remember one particular day when she was feeling overwhelmed and thought that she wasn't a good missionary taking her aside and speaking to her about the light within her that God had given her.  From that moment I knew I had to remind her so that on her darkest days she would remember what special love she would always leave with the people she taught and how much the Morris family loved her.

So I wrote her letters...

I promised her I wouldn't cry so on the final Sunday she was at church, I put on my big girl panties and refused to cry as I watched her play piano.Yet on the final night and during our last lesson together, the strong girl who had replaced the deer in headlights who I had said the Tanner's Prayer when she arrived finally broke.

In that moment I didn't know how much she loved me. She began to cry like I have never seen Anna Banana cry and I broke my promise and cried with her. That night as my mom and I watched her get onto her bicycle and ride off into the dark for the last time, I have never felt that emptiness before.

She's my sister forever and I will love her and carry her in my heart forever.

I thank God for meeting her. This isn't goodbye forever.

Comments

  1. Unknown7 July 2017 at 13:57

    This is SO beautiful momo!!! ❤️❤️❤️

    ReplyDelete

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